Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Stop breaking your own heart by trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work. You can't force someone to care about you. You can't force someone to be loyal. You can't force someone to be the person you need them to be. Sometimes the person you want most is the person you're best without. You got to understand some things are meant to happen, but just not meant to be. Some things are meant to come in your life, just not meant to stay. Don't lose yourself by trying to fix what's meant to stay broken. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to give it to you. It's hard when your heart has labelled that person as someone you could spend forever with, but your future will always bring understanding of why things didn't work out. Don't put your happiness on hold for someone who isn't holding on to you. That broken thing you keep trying to put back together is keeping your life from that beautiful thing that's waiting to be built. You deserve better.

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

You are not a victim of circumstance. You are a beneficiary of possibility. Difficult conditions do not impose a burden. They deliver opportunity in great abundance. 

No matter what happens or what fails to happen, there is always a kernel of goodness and positive possibility to be found. Decide to see it, harness it, make the most of it, and you will. 

Circumstances, as powerful and disruptive as they may be, do not have any driving purpose or intention. You, on the other hand, do. When you connect with that purpose, and energize that intention, you can bring great triumph out of any situation. With a strong and clearly defined purpose, everything becomes an opportunity. See what is and translate it into the best of what can be. Any time is right when you are ready. -- Ralph Marston

Saturday, 21 February 2015

magulo

malapit nang mag isang buwan simula ng sabihin nya sa akin na tapos na kami. ako naman si tatanga-tanga, basta na lang tinanggap ang desisyon nya ng walang panunumbat, walang nilabas na hinanakit, walang galit. para lang akong sponge na tanggap lang ng tanggap. ganun pala yun, kapag mahal na mahal mo ang isang tao, kahit hanggang sa huli, kahit na alam mong iiwanan ka na, lahat ibibigay mo pa rin, kasama na ang kalayaan nya.

naging napakahirap ng mga unang araw at linggo para sa akin. hindi ko mailabas ang nararamdaman ko. wala akong masabihan. wala akong kakampi. ilang araw din na paikot-ikot lang sa isip ko ang mga pangyayari. 

ganun pala yun, kahit gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao. kahit na sobrang pasensyoso ka at palawakin mo man ng husto ang pang-unawa mo. kahit na anung effort pa ang gawin mo, kahit gaano ka pa ka-supportive sa kanya, kapag hindi ka na niya mahal, hindi ka na niya mahal. 

umikot ka man ng umikot kakaisip kung ano ang nangyari, kung bakit nangyari, kung saan ka nagkulang at kung saan ka nagkamali, the moment na bitiwan ka niya, the moment na talikuran niya ang kung anong meron kayong dalawa, lahat ng pinagsamahan ninyo, lahat ng mga tanong mo ay magiging irrelevant. hanggang sa pati ikaw ay tuluyan na ring maging irrelevant sa buhay niya.

ilang araw lang ang nakalipas pagkatapos namin maghiwalay, mukhang okay na siya. bumalik na siya sa dati niyang 'routine'. mukhang masaya na ulit siya. ewan ko pero hindi ko masabing masaya ako para sa kanya. hindi pa siguro ngayon. siguro at the back of my mind, iniisip ko pa rin na sana, nalulungkot pa rin siya sa pag-alis ko, na hahanapin niya pa rin ako, na ako pa rin ang pipiliin niya. na babalik siya. god! i sound so pathetic and desperate...and still hurting.

pero mukhang wala na talaga. wala na. habang nalalagas ang mga araw, nararamdaman kong unti-unti na rin akong nawawala sa sistema niya. masaya na ulit siya. habang ako, nandito pa rin sa kung saan niya ako iniwan. still trying to figure out kung paano ako babalik sa kung saan niya ako natagpuan.

to be honest, malaki din ang kasalanan ko sa sarili ko, dahil nagpabola ako. sobrang nagtiwala. naniwala sa mga matatamis na salita kahit na kulang naman sa gawa. ako ang nagbigay sa kanya ng karapatan para saktan ako ng ganito. ginawa kong napakadali para sa kanya na basta na lang pumasok at lumabas sa buhay ko. parang yosi, na pagkatapos gamitin, tinapon na lang at tinapakan. nagmahal ako ng sobra, hanggang sa puntong nakalimutan kong mahalin ang sarili ko, kaya ngayong wala na siya, natatakot akong wala na ring naiwang pagmamahal.

huwag naman sana.

Sunday, 1 February 2015

Still Hurting

Jamie is over and Jamie is gone
Jamie's decided it's time to move on
Jamie has new dreams he's building upon
And I'm still hurting

Jamie arrived at the end of the line
Jamie's convinced that the problems are mine
Jamie is probably feeling just fine
And I'm still hurting

What about lies, Jamie?
What about things
That you swore to be true
What about you, Jamie
What about you

Jamie is sure something wonderful died
Jamie decides it's his right to decide
Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide
And I'm still hurting

Go and hide and run away
Run away, run and find something better
Go and ride the sun away
Run away like it's simple
Like it's right...

Give me a day, Jamie
Bring back the lies
Hang them back on the wall
Maybe I'd see
How you could be
So certain that we
Had no chance at all

Jamie is over and where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn't change the fact
That wouldn't speed the time
Once the foundation's cracked
And I'm
Still Hurting


Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Ako Lang Ang Nagmahal

Sa aking pag-iisa, ika’y biglang lumapit
At bago ko namalayan ako’y umibig sa ‘yo
Sa isang saglit akala ko’y di na magwawakas
Aking mundo’y lumawak at nagpumiglas
At nangarap na parati kang kasama
Sana bawat gabi kasiping ka
Sa himbing ng tulog ko ang panaginip ko’y ikaw
At sa aking paggising ikaw pa rin ang lahat
Ilang taon akong kumapit ng pagkahigpit
Parang malinaw ang lahat kahit nakapikit
At umasa ako na lagi kang kasama
Bata’t ang nais kong laging kapiling ka
Ngunit tamis ng pag-ibig ay pinatatabang ng panahon
Hindi lahat ng kwento’y masayang nagwawakas
At bago ko namalayan di mo na ko kailangan
At ako’y muli ngayong nag-iisa
Siguro nga umasa akong magtatagal
Ang init ng iyong halik
Naglahong parang panaginip
Ako lang siguro ang nagmahal

Friday, 16 January 2015

People come and go. Sabi nga nila, kapag umalis, may papalit daw na mas okay. Kung hindi man, palaging may dahilan si God kung bakit may mga tao siyang tinatanggal sa buhay natin. Siguro para mas pahalagahan natin kung sino yung natira. 

Kahit ano pa ang dahilan, mahalin natin kung sino yung nandiyan para sa atin at kalimutan yung mga taong binitiwan tayo. 

Naniniwala ako na kahit gaano man kabigat ang pagdaanan, kung mahal mo siya o sila, hinding hindi ka bibitaw kahit nahihirapan ka na. Because at the end of the day, yung mga taong kumapit ang mahalaga.

Monday, 5 January 2015

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - Hillsong United





You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

[6x]
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Oh, Jesus, you're my God!

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine