Tuesday, 17 February 2009

I'm Here

Now everyone’s so proud of you. They adore and admire you. You are celebrated and commended. You were out there and I’m here where everything is the same. Late night, I stay awake, killing time by experimenting on different colours and hues. During weekends I still carry that big bag of whatever things wherever I go. I still enjoy long walks in the middle of nowhere, exploring new realms in this minute island. I’m still walking on the same streets, taking the same train ride on my way home, eat the same food and listen to the same music. I still enjoy this craft that we both shared. Everything’s the same but it is very, very different. You were out there where I can’t follow, where the least that I can become is a familiar face, a ‘has been’, the ‘one of those’, that someone you used to have dealings with. Without a word I have no place in your spacious circle anymore.

But during the time you’re like a beaten soldier, I was there to mend your wounds. I was there as a listener and not a judge for your actions. I cradled your vulnerability. I was vocal in applauding your resilience and wisdom. I was there to appreciate each and every form of art you were able to share be it visually or literary. I was your eyes to capture the moments you don’t want to forget and you know that. I kept on. I nurtured your words when you said that I’m special. But now, never will I exist in your world. Now I’m the invisible creature begging for a few minutes of your time just to start a bland conversation, struggling to put some warmth on your cold shoulder. You are celebrated but never will my name have a recall as a partaker.

Everything is the same but it is very, very different.

As I recall these words: “The only thing that I can do for you is to...”, I resent that I can’t even complete that sentence anymore.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I believe i have inside of me
everything that i need to live a bountiful life.
With all the love alive in me
i'll stand as tall as the tallest tree.
And i'm
thankful for everyday that i'm given,
both the easy and hard ones i'm livin'.
But most of all
i'm thankful for
loving who i really am.
- I’m Here, The Color Purple



13 comments:

Winkii said...

hello. dropped by.:)
exlinks?

gillboard said...

Eben, pag nagsusulat ka ng mga ganito, napapaisip ako kung sino hinahandugan mo eh..

di ka nagkukuwento...

Turismoboi said...

hmmmmmmm

Eben said...

@wikii
hello. I link'd you already

@gillboard
in time, maikukwento ko rin.

@Turismoboi
hmmmmm ka dyan. hehehe.

the donG said...

parang ang lalim or mababaw lang talaga ako.

Reena said...

galing naman magsulat. :) ako parang bata kung magsulat eh. try ko nga magsulat ng ganito. hehe...

actually, wala akong naintindihan. sino ba kasi kausap mo? haha

enrico said...

sana makwento mo nga next time. saka sana makumpleto mo na yung sentence next time :9

iriz said...

gillboard, ganyan talaga yang friend kong yan, goodluck, ako nga di nakukuwentuhan e, hehe. (peace ebentot)

cno to? c tooot ba 'to? pramis mejo nahirapan akong arukin.alam mo yung naiintindihan mo pero parang hindi. no, it's the way you wrote it, in fact i love the flow and the way you constructed it. It's clear but yet subtle.

I guess that's what you call artistic writing,clear yet subtle. parang ang gulo nung sinabi ko noh?

anyways....goodnight!

Eben said...

@all latest comments
pasensya na ha kung sumakit ang ulo niyo sa pagi-inggles ko...kunwari dunung-dunungan ako sa wika na yan. hehehe.

pasensya na rin kung walang detalye, hindi ko pa kayang magkwento ng buo e. pero ayus lang ako. kailangan lang magbawas ng sobrang bagahe...

salamat sa inyong masugid na pagbisita!

gravity said...

waaaah! im sure there is a reason for the cold feet.. anyway i dont really know the real score, i just hope you'll be able to patch things up. =)

yoshke said...

BOOO! Details! Details! Hehe. Joke lang.


Details!!! Magkwentoooo!

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