Friday, 28 November 2008

Laughing Out Loud


I miss my blog so much. I know I’ve been MIA (Missing In Action) for quite some time now; it’s just that I can’t think of anything worth posting. Or to rephrase it, I can’t think of anything worth sharing at all. Sometimes I get tired to telling the same old sad stories because I know that it wouldn’t change the fact that bad things do happen and we don’t have control in what’s happening in our surroundings. We only have the ability to hone our feelings, on how we are going to react on different stimuli.


I’m overwhelmed with what’s happening in my life recently. Right after I turned 25, wave after wave of “too much”-ness had hit me so hard. Too much work, too much worrying, too much analyzing, too much information. I had too much of everything like I’ve never had enough. I want to close my eyes and cover my ears, hoping that I can find peace in the void.


I felt betrayed, lied upon and neglected for the nth time. I see myself as a victim of the situation, again and again. I’ve given more than I can give, but I’m always being left behind. Am I not good enough to deserve a good reaping? I can’t breathe anymore...I’m drowning. I'm human, I was about to crumble. Yet I realized that quitting is not the best option. I can’t just jump off the cliff or let my rope of sanity snap. If I’ve reached a dead end, I can always make a U-turn. Right now I’m trying to stand still as I embrace the storm. Honestly it wasn’t easy, but I have to...


I know I need to get back to my senses and to start all over again. I must complete my puzzle and I have to move forward. I’m wishing that someday I need not to disregard what I feel, that I can laugh or smile without faking it. And at the top of my lungs, I’ll be laughing out loud...genuinely.

Monday, 17 November 2008

My Night


Tonight...
Heavy are the footsteps I’ve made
As I embrace the chilling wind
And be deafened by the silence
There’s nowhere to go to
No place to take refuge
Now dark clouds have taken away
The once sparkling heavens where I used to gaze
Where are you, my star? Have I lost you forever?
Did I miss the fading of your glow?
Or is there a wishful heart, like me
Whose wish, you’ve granted completely...

Monday, 3 November 2008

Kumbinsing

"Pakawalan mo ang mga bagay na nakapagpapasaya ngunit nakapagpapasakit sa iyo. Huwag mong hintaying dumating ang panahon na puro sakit na lang ang maiwan."


Hanggang ngayon, kinukumbinsi ko pa rin ang sarili ko na tama ang naging desisyon ko...

Tama kahit na masakit...

Masakit pero kailangan...

Kailangan dahil kung hindi ko ginawa...

Doble, triple o mas matindi pang sakit ang mararanasan ko...

Dahil hindi mo naman nakita...

Hindi mo naman naramdaman...

Kung gaano ako nagpahalaga...

Kung paano kita minahal.